Today, Robert and I celebrate our one year anniversary. In some ways, it doesn't seem possible that we've been married a year, and in others, that fateful Friday evening seems like decades ago. Alas, it has been a year, and a remarkable one at that. I heard a lot of things before I got married: "being married is soooo different", "living with a boy is sooo different", "the first year is the toughest", "you only think you know someone until you get married", etc. etc. While being married a year isn't that much in comparison to some, hitting this benchmark makes me feel like I can offer a very limited number of words that may benefit someone else who may be getting married soon, may have only been married a few weeks/months, or may be nostalgic for the days of young love. Whatever your lot, continue reading. If you disagree, you can always comment below. =)
In the past year I have learned a lot--about myself, Robert, cooking, and life in general. Here are some random observations I have noted, take them or leave them.
1: Drama is ok, as long as it makes you closer to your spouse. Regardless of what goes on around you (and you'll never be able to control it), as long as you cling to your spouse for dear life, you will make it out on the other side better off than you were before.
2: If you marry your best friend, you aren't in for many surprises. I won't say you aren't in for any surprises, because there are just some things you don't experience until you're married to someone and living with them. But, people nearly scared me to death before I got married saying that Robert would be "so different" and that things would "change so much". Well I'm here to tell you that, nope, that hasn't happened. I knew Robert well enough before we got married that there weren't a lot of weird quirks to find out about "after it's too late"--others words, not mine. We communicated very well and very frequently prior to marriage, and that has helped us out tremendously.
3: Spend tons of time together. Moving to Pulaski was very different for me, in that I didn't know a lot of people and didn't have any good friends to spend all of my time with. Robert and I have spent the majority of the last year by ourselves. I mean, obviously we do things with others and we worship with others and work with others, but any "free time" is usually just us. We take trips, go on dates here and there, find fun things to do together...and that's helped us a lot this year. I know it won't always be like this, and I wouldn't want it to be. But for the first year of our marriage to be spent focusing on the "cleaving" part--I think it helped us out so much.
4: Don't sweat the small stuff. I feel like I've heard that one before. Anyway. If you're like me (and I'm sorry if you are), you may not have a ton of domesticated skills prior to marriage. I could only cook about three things: grilled cheese, pancakes, and chicken and rice. When we got back from our honeymoon, I nearly set the kitchen on fire (ok, so it might not have been that dramatic, but I know I ended up in tears in my new husbands arms). You know what, though? It didn't matter one bit. Robert and I have figured out living on our own together. We cook, clean, do the laundry, do the dishes, and take out the trash in our own way that works for us. We didn't have these preconceived ideas of how it should go, we just made it up as we went. Neither of us were "prepared" to be a spouse, but we worked it out together and it's been so much fun!
5: Get away sometimes. We have a had a few occasions to simply get out of dodge, and it has been wonderful. It doesn't have to be extravagant or well-planned, just time away from the everyday stressors does wonders.
I know that most of these are superficial or even too vague for you to really grasp, but these are just a few things I've noticed in the last year that I'd like to keep in mind as time progresses. Looking back, I am so thankful that 20 year old Emily had enough foresight to snatch this amazing man, because I cannot imagine being happier than I am right now. Robert is the most incredible person I know, and he is an amazing husband to me. I am so thankful to live with and be married to my best friend; it has been so fun and so rewarding, and I love him with every single piece of my heart.