A Heart of Thanksgiving

I spent a portion of yesterday feeling sad. You see, in the midst of all the hustle and bustle and instagramming of roses & candy that was Valentine's Day, a somber event occurred. Around 1PM, Robert led a small group of individuals in some solemn thoughts about death, as a feeble gentleman sat on the front row, mourning the loss of his wife of nearly 52 years.

52 years. Should God give us until July, Robert and I will celebrate our 2nd wedding anniversary. These individuals had been married 50 years longer than Robert and I have been. These individuals were married 27 years before Robert and I came into existence. They spent a lifetime devoted to each other, and even as I leaned in and whispered my condolences to this man, he looked to his wife's casket and remarked how beautiful she looked. Their love was the defining characteristic of their lives.

In the midst of the sorrow that surrounds any funeral, you cannot help but feel a sense of thankfulness. And so, today, I felt the need to express my deepest and sincerest thanks to the God of not only the universe, but of my lowly existence. In the wake of such a love-centered day, will you join me, please, in thanking our Maker for the days He has allowed us to spend with our loved ones.

My Maker and My Father, I thank You for this day.
I thank You for the countless blessings You have sent my way.
I offer up sincerest thanks for each day with my loved ones.
Especially, my Father God, for days with my sweet husband.
My greatest need You have supplied, a chance at sweet salvation.
I thank You, my Almighty God, for Christ's propitiation.
I thank You for, not only that, but every other blessing.
Innumerable ones, new each day, I can't begin to start addressing.
So thank you, Father, for this day, and every one before.
And thank you, most of all, my God, for what you have in store.

5 Marriage Builders

I have the privilege of being around some amazing couples from time to time, and they truly inspire me to be a better wife and helper for Robert. Sometimes, though, I have the misfortune of hearing one part of a couple talk bad about their spouse, and those moments really get to me. And so, while I am by no means a relationship expert or guru, I am a Christian trying to be in the most godly marriage I can, and hopefully some of these tips will encourage you in your walk with God and your spouse.

1: Never put them down. I don't care if it's to your mom or to your best friend or to a random stranger: don't put your spouse down! You have been given the opportunity to give other people a glimpse into what your spouse is like -- only use those moments for good! When you get into an argument, don't call someone else to vent. When he/she does something that you didn't like, pray about it. Never spread negativity when it comes to your spouse. We all know that there are going to be amazing moments, too, but the likelihood of you going to these same people and telling them about how wonderful your spouse is in that moment--well, it's a slim chance. And, even if you do, they have a tainted view of your spouse now from all of the negativity. Be sure you are one whom your spouse can trust (Proverbs 31:11), and be sure that you only speak kind words about them (Proverbs 31:26).

2: Keep secrets. This goes along with the trust we just mentioned. The heart of your spouse should feel safe with you, and that includes publicly and privately. The Proverb writer said, "A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter." (11:13). Your spouse should wholly trust that you aren't going to be running off and telling other people negative things about them, but they should also trust that you aren't going to share some of your private and intimate moments with other people. The bond between a husband and a wife is a special, sacred bond meant only for them. Do not tell other people about the things which should only be kept between the two of you. That doesn't only include things that center around the marriage bed, either (though it does include them!). If you and your spouse talk about something serious (or even silly!) and it is only meant for the two of you, don't spread it! Having inside jokes with your spouse can be one of the most amazing things about marriage: being able to share a glance from across the room when a certain word or phrase is mentioned can be fun and secretive and exciting! Never feel that you must share those moments with others! Keep your marriage private, and keep the secrets that your spouse needs you to keep--serious and silly included.

3: Show your spouse (and others!) you're happy in your marriage. One of my resolutions in 2013 is to dedicate at least one blog post per month to my husband. You may think that's silly and superficial, but there's method to my madness. I want Robert (as well as the rest of the world) to know that I value him and cherish him and am so proud/happy to be his. The Proverbist said, "A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorry of the heart the spirit is broken." (15:13). As a wife, I have a daily opportunity to either give my husband a cheerful countenance or to break his spirit. Every spouse has that same opportunity. Whether it's something cheesy like a Facebook post or something aww-inducing like a precious blog post, show the world how much you love your spouse and how thrilled you are to be married to them--regardless of if it's been 2 years or 22.

4: Don't measure your marital bliss by your bank account. Proverbs 16:8 says, "Better is a little with righteousness than vast revenues without justice." Just one chapter earlier we read, "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fatted calf with hatred." (15:17). How much money your husband makes shouldn't determine how happy you are in marriage. During one of our pre-marital counseling sessions, the preacher warned that most couples fight the most about money once they are married. Sadly, I've seen that develop for many people. Instead of focusing on money and things, spend time improving the quality of your marriage. Whether you have a lot or a little shouldn't add or subtract one ounce of happiness to your marriage. So you have to pinch pennies one month because there's less money! Find creative ways to do that together. Decide on cheap alternatives to your daily lives, and maybe even make a game out of it. Resolve to take monthly dates, even if there isn't money there. There are plenty of things to do that don't cost money (hello pajama party watching movies you already own!). Be sure to let your husband know that how little or much he makes isn't what makes you happy: him being yours is what does that!

5: You don't have to share everything. Let me tell you, Robert and I are sharers. From the time we became friends at Freed, sharing just came easy for us. Getting married, I thought that I had to share every single thought and intention and motive and idea I ever had. Ha!! Now listen, I don't mean that I keep things from Robert or that I purposefully don't tell him things, but here's what I mean: "A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back." (Prov. 29:11). You are a human being. There will be days when you are not at your best. There will be days when you are cranky and when your spouse simply cannot do anything to make you feel otherwise. On those days, do not share every thought, feeling, insecurity and frustration. If you're like me (and bless you if you are), chances are you won't even mean/feel those things the next day. DON'T SAY THEM. They will hurt for much longer than you even mean them. Keep them in. Never say anything to intentionally hurt your spouse. Note that the Proverbist did not say you cannot talk about any feelings whatsoever; instead, he says a fool vents them all. We all have those spur of the moment, fleeting feelings that no one should ever hear about. They will go away, be sure to be self-controlled enough to keep them in so you do not do unnecessary harm to your marriage.

Here's a true saying: "The grass is greener where you water it." If you want a happy marriage, build one! Happiness and contentment and joy are always within reach!

Must-Tell Monday: Husband Edition

I feel that this post has been a long time coming, and if you aren't in the mood for sappy or gushy or the like, you should probably abort this post immediately. =)

For nearly a year a half, I have been married to the most remarkable man in the universe. Every single day of that year and a half I have been more proud of him than I ever thought possible, and instead of simply telling him about it in the same old ways all of the time, I thought I would share some of those ways with you.

1: Robert is incredibly passionate. He has often remarked to me that 'if you can do something other than preach, you should'. I am so thankful that he can't do anything but preach (not that he doesn't have talents--we'll get to that later). There is no other occupation that Robert would rather have, because he loves serving our God more than anything. From the outside looking in, people often ask us if we spend enough time together or if he takes enough time off or if he rests, etc. etc. But I know my husband, and I know that he works as much as he does and as hard as he does because he is oh-so-passionate. I am ok with not being his first love, because I want him to love God more than he loves me. And one of the things I love most about him is that he has such a zeal and a light in his eye when he talks about doing the Lord's work. I am so blessed to be married to a man who loves God so much and is so dedicated to serving Him.

2: He loves me so well. Don't get crazy thinking that Robert doesn't spend enough time with me because he's so passionate about his work. He is always making sure that I am taken care of, that my needs are met, and that I have anything and everything my heart desires. He is so good about making sure I'm not left home alone too much or that I don't have to do all the work around the house by myself. He is always looking out for me and putting my needs above his own. I know there are days when he'd rather just kick back and relax, but he'll come right in and take the trash out for me or ask me if he can help with supper. He also urges me to buy things that I want--even if it's just a fleeting 'that'd be nice'. He wants me to be happy, and he wants to make that happen in any possible way (though he must not realize just being married to him is enough!).

3: He is so amazingly talented. The idea for The Light Network came from Robert, and subsequently all of the tech-y stuff that goes along with podcasting has fallen on his shoulders. He has set up our home office to be a studio for my podcast--complete with all kinds of mixers and wires and microphones. He has set up his own office as a complete studio with more technology than I can innumerate upon. He does all of it himself, too, because he just gets it. TLN would not be possible if it weren't for his tech talents, though I know he would never want to toot his own horn.

It isn't just TLN, though! Robert does a lot of the tech stuff for the congregation here at East Hill, and has even done work for the Memphis School of Preaching, the Ironaton congregation, and tons of work for GBN! He has so many talents, and he is using them for God's glory. I could not be more proud of the man I married!*

4: He is a wonderful teacher. In relation to the last point, I wouldn't have my video editing job if it weren't for Robert. He taught me everything I need to know about video editing, and continues to teach me on a regular basis! I wouldn't be able to do my podcast on TLN if it weren't for him, wouldn't have a job that I love if it weren't for him, and therefore wouldn't be able to serve God like I am if it weren't for him! I am only able to do what I do because of Robert and the amazing way he teaches. BUT, it isn't just about tech stuff. This year, Robert has been teaching the Wednesday night Bible class at the East Hill congregation, and I have learned more from that class than probably any other (and I'm not the only one who says that!). We have been studying through the Bible (starting in Jan. at Genesis and ending Jan. 2nd in Revelation), and it has been a remarkable, eye-opening study. He has challenged us and opened our eyes to so many things, and that's because he's such a great teacher! He's relatable and knowledgeable, and we are just so blessed to have him!

5: He is such a good friend. While I can't speak for all of his friends, I do know how much time and effort he puts into relationships. I know that he really tries to be there for people and really invests in them. I know that he cares deeply for others and doesn't simply put on a front. I know that he is willing to put a lot into other people, and even sacrifices his schedule to make things work. He is one of those wonderful people who is willing to do anything for you, and he's so personable that it makes you want to open up to him and be close to him. I am so blessed to be not only his wife, but his friend.

Recently, one of our (unmarried) friends said that they didn't like husbands/wives calling each other their "best friend" because the term "husband" or "fiance" or something else sounds more formal and means more. I, for one, am so thankful that I am married to my best friend...and that he's been that way from the beginning. Mine and Robert's relationship started on the best friend playing field. Actually, we were so nervous about dating because we were such good friends already. But our best friendship (aka sharing every detail of our lives) turned into something much more beautiful than I could ever imagine, and yet, we have retained our best friendship throughout the taking on of new roles. And I love that about us. I love that Robert is the person who makes me laugh the hardest. I love that he is the one who knows exactly what to say or what face to make to get me to crack up. I love that he makes road trips so enjoyable, and makes the tensest moments bearable. I love that we don't have to speak to know what the other is thinking, and that just one glance from across the room can lead to tons of laughter.

As soon as Robert and I started becoming friends, I knew that he was the best I was going to have. He has always been so easy to open up to, so caring, and so accommodating. While I may be a bit biased, I know that others think he's a good friend, too, and I'm so proud of him for being the type of person that people want to be friends with.

As you can see, I am so blessed to be able to call Robert mine. And while this post doesn't have a devotional thought, or maybe any point at all for any of you who may still be reading, I think it's important to share it, because I want my husband to know, every day, that I am so proud of him and that I love him more than anyone else in this world.

Dearly Beloved

One of my closest friends is getting married this weekend, and in her honor I thought I'd write a little something.

I've only been married for 17 months, so to say I know all about marriage is quite an understatement. But, if I were to give any kind of advice about marriage, I would probably say this:

1: Confide in your spouse completely. There are going to be times when it might be easier to just keep back a piece of information, or maybe not ask that question that's been bugging you, but really all that will do is drive a wedge between you. Proverbs 31:11 says that a virtuous woman is one whose husband trusts her. Be the kind of husband/wife that will have the total trust of your spouse.

2: Admit your weaknesses. All of us have weak moments spiritually speaking. When you are in the midst of one of those moments, let your spouse in on it. Have them pray for you, with you and privately. It is no doubt their words will encourage and build you up in those weak moments. It will also make your relationship more God-centered, and really that's what will make it last.

3: Lean totally on your spouse. There are going to be hard times, that's just a fact of life. In those moments, it might be easy to go to one of your friends who's "always been there", but take special thought to go to your new spouse. The amount of time you spend crying together, praying together, talking things out...that will make all the difference. You will come out on the other side of whatever trial it is a better and stronger couple.

4: Make time for alone time. Sometimes it's hard to get away. Sometimes it's difficult to get away from work--or to not take work home with you. But, purpose in your heart to make time for alone time. It may not be weekly; some months it might not even happen. But be sure to plan out special times throughout the year that you can look back on and enjoy those memories. It doesn't have to be expensive--some day excursion somewhere enjoying the scenery. Just be sure that you get away, just the two of you.

5: Don't let them slip. You are going to be your spouse's biggest influence; take that to heart. There may be times when they want to get into a rut, but be sure to gently pull them out of that. Don't let them slack on duties, or even slack in a loving, Christian attitude toward others. Encourage them to always do and be the best that they can for God, and help them out of any temptations that may come--even if that means removing some of those temptations from their reach.

6: Always, always, always say I love you. This one really goes without saying, but it's so important. Sign every text, end every phone call, let your final words every night be these: I love you. And don't just get into the routine. Regularly, make it a point to look your spouse in the eyes and really tell them that you love them.

7: Don't let society define your marriage. There are SO many societal rituals and rules about marriage and different things you're supposed to do in marriage...don't take them to heart. Figure out what makes your marriage work, specifically, and keep it up. Don't let the pressures of society make you feel bad about your marriage--like you have to live up to something that the world has set in place. You do in your marriage what makes you and your spouse better and happier--period.

8: Let God define your marriage. Ephesians 5:22-33 gives us insight into the roles of husbands and wives. As a wife, be sure that you submit to your husband; that you allow him to have that rule over you. As a husband, be sure that you love and cherish your wife, and that you looking out for her soul in every instance.

9: Try to get involved in some of their interests. There are always going to be things that you like to do that your spouse doesn't, and vice versa. I think it's healthy to have those things. But, try to take on something new, too. Don't just stubbornly say you have no interest in something, try to give in and enjoy it with them.

10: Never, ever put your spouse down. Robert and I engage in self-depricating humor a lot, and we joke with each other a lot, too. We joke with each other in public settings as well, but I never feel like Robert is making fun of me or trying to hurt me or using a piece of knowledge to make me sound bad. Be sure that you don't ever put your spouse down in public. Be sure your spouse (and everyone around!) always knows how in love with your spouse you are. And if there are other people making fun of your spouse, be sure to stand up for them and compliment them. Be your spouse's biggest fan, even if there is something negative going on at home. There are always going to be trials and tests and arguments, but never air those in public. Always be your spouses biggest supporter and encourager, and again--make them feel safe.

Leading Ladies: Sapphira

Sapphira probably isn't at the top of your 'leading ladies' list, namely because she doesn't set a positive example. And, if we're being honest, we probably never take the time to separate her name from her husband's...kind of like the Aquila and Priscilla team. However, I think we can learn a lot from Sapphira, which is why I'm dedicating a leading ladies post to her.

We are introduced to this women in Acts 5. Prior to this, a well known Bible character (and I don't mean character in a fictitious way--we know people who are mentioned in the Bible are real people) named Barnabas. After he sold his land and gave the money to the poor, the entire church was encouraged and thus his name was changed to 'son of encouragement'. It is on the heels of this story that we meet Sapphira and her husband, Ananias.

Ananias and Sapphira had this great idea: they were going to sell the land that they had, just like Barnabas had, and give the money to the church. The only problem was that instead of giving all of the money to the church, they would simply give part of it. Now, this story isn't saying that you cannot keep anything back for yourself but that you must give every ounce of everything you have to the church. Not saying that at all. What it is saying is that you cannot lie about it. Had Ananias and Sapphira sold their land and given a portion to the apostles and told them such, the church would have been encouraged by this, as would the apostles. Instead, Ananias and Sapphira conspired together to make it seem like they had done some great and charitable deed, when really they had kept part back--only wanting the accolades for their contribution.

So why focus on Sapphira?

Recently, as I was rereading this story, something new stuck out to me. You see, Ananias comes before the apostles first, and they rebuke him and before he can even speak--he is struck dead. Ouch. But then, a few hours later, Sapphira comes in.

As I was reading this, I thought to myself--why didn't they go in together? Surely they could have. But they didn't. Instead, Sapphira was given the chance to own up to her sin. Peter asked her how much she had sold the land for, she says 'such and such' a price (not the full amount, though, mind you) and then she is also struck dead.

It's a sad story, sure, but I think there are some valuable lessons we can learn from ol' Sapphira.

1: Submission to your husband does not mean covering for him. So often women believe that they must be in submission to their husbands in all things. Yes, the Bible does tell us that we have been given the role of submission to our husbands, but the Bible never encourages sin. Sapphira did not have to go along with what Ananias had said. When Peter asked her, she could have confessed and said, no, we actually kept some back. I fully believe that Sapphira would have been saved had she confessed her sin to Peter. Instead, she didn't. She continued in her sin--not knowing her husband was dead already.

If you are in a marriage where your husband continues to sin against God, the church, and others--you do not have to continue with him in this sin. God does not expect you to sin with him so as to remain in subjection to him. On the contrary! In 1 Peter 3:1-2, the Bible tells women whose husbands aren't faithful to "likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the world, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear."

The only way to win over an unbelieving or unfaithful husband is to show him that you respect God first and foremost. If you are compromising your relationship with God because of an earthly relationship, are you being a good example to your husband? Will he be won over by your conduct?

Please hear me when I say that this does, in no way, mean that you should defy your husband. God set up the home exactly how He wanted it to be, and as women, we have particular roles to fill---roles by which we will be judged. But, we will also be judged by how we behave toward our husbands. If you are a spouse, you have an obligation to the one to whom you married, and that obligation is to help them get to heaven. Do not take part in nor encourage their sins. Help them out of them. Promote peace and purity.

2: Do not seek worldly pleasures and treasures. It seems Ananias and Sapphira had a bad case of worldly-itis. They loved the world more than they loved God. They wanted earthly riches more than they wanted true, heavenly riches. Jesus told the multitudes in Matthew 6:2, "Therefore, when you do a charitable deed, do not sound a trumpet before you as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory from men. Assuredly I say to you, they have their reward." This pitiable pair needed this reminder. Wanting the world to see your good works and give you a standing ovation for it...that won't get you anywhere. Well, it will get you somewhere, but not the somewhere you want to be for eternity.

Paul told the Colossians in Col. 3:1-2 "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things of the earth."

James said, "Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God." (James 4:4)

You cannot be a Christian and love this world. You cannot be a true follower of Christ and put worldly riches and pleasures above Him. If you have a job that takes you away from doing the things that God wants you to do -- that God will judge you for if you do not do (ie keeping your home) -- then get rid of the job. God doesn't judge us based on what our occupation is. He doesn't judge us based on our income. So you make less money and you have less stuff. Life isn't made up of possessions. Life is characterized by one thing: obedience to God. Get rid of the earthly things that stand in the way of your full obedience to God. I feel that if Sapphira were given the opportunity to do it all again, she would place her priorities on God and following Him, not getting rich. Paul told Timothy that loving money was the root of all evil (1 Tim. 6:10). We must put riches and earthly treasures in their proper place, and that is nowhere near the top of our priorities list.

3: You will be judged for your own life. When the Judgment comes, each man will be judged according to his own works (Rev. 20:13). You will only be judged for your own soul and your own actions. Yes, you have been given the command to spread the gospel and encourage the lost to be saved (Mk 16:15), but ultimately the decision to obey Jesus comes down to the individual.

Should you be in a marriage relationship where your spouse does not adhere to God's laws, be it outright unbelief or perhaps by living a hypocritical life, you are not condemned to the same fate. Now, you do have to do as Peter said and be an example to them, but if they don't choose to obey God, that is on them. You have to decide, for yourself, to follow Him and trust in Him and obey His every command. It is only for your thoughts and actions and opportunities that you will be judged, not the actions or thoughts or someone else--not even your spouse.

As previously mentioned, Sapphira could have gone to Peter and confessed. She didn't have to suffer the same fate that her husband did. However, it seems she had the same sin-ridden heart that her husband did. We cannot know whose heart was defiled first, but we do know that God doesn't put on us more than we can bear (1 Cor. 10:13). One of them could have stood up to the other; one of them could have stood up for what was right. Sapphira was given the opportunity. She had to stand in front of Peter herself, tell the lie herself, and will ultimately face the judgment herself. Know that whatever situation you find yourself in, you will be judged based on what you do, not what those around you do--not even those closest to you (including parents, children, grandchildren, etc).

4: You are an example. In verse 11 of chapter 5, the Bible tell us, "So great fear came upon all the church and upon all who heard these things." People heard about Ananias and Sapphira. People heard about what they did and what happened to them because of it. In the same way, people hear about us. I have learned this lesson quite well in the last year and a half after moving to a small town. It seems everybody knows something about everyone in town. And guess what they know? The good and the bad.

The Bible tells us that a good reputation is to be chosen over great riches (Prov. 22:1). We know full well that people hear things about us. Make it your aim for people to only think good things about you when they hear something. Make it your aim that people only think of godly things when they think about you. Make your life an example to those around you, so that they may see your good works and glorify God (Matt. 5:16).

Paul told Timothy to be an example to the believers in word, conduct, love, spirit, faith, and purity. Make it your daily goal to be the same--not only to the believers, but to everyone you come into contact with. The old adage is true: you may be the only Bible some people ever read. Be sure your life is pointing them to God.

A Month of Thanks: Marriage

Last week we talked about forgiveness. There aren't many things in life that are greater than that. Without it, I wouldn't have the chance of heaven, nor would I ever get to meet my Savior. I would never be holy or pure enough to see my Father. But with it, so many other things are afforded to me!

Since this is a different Friday, I suppose I should go on with a different topic. Today (and everyday) I am thankful for the institution of marriage, and the commands God gives to husbands and wives.

For the last 16 months I have been married to an amazing Christian man. While Robert is a great person, and would no doubt be very loving and nice according to worldly standards, it is only because of his love for God that our marriage is as wonderful and blissful as it is. Because we both strive to put God first, our relationship with each other has been blessed. Paul instructed the Ephesians in this way:

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church." (vs 22-29)

Because the Holy Spirit guided Paul to write these words, we can know and experience Godly marriages. Had the Holy Spirit not inspired these words, I may not be in a marriage where my husband cherishes me and protects me. I may not be in a marriage where my husband will give himself for me, and love me as much as he loves himself--really, as an extension of himself. And, were we not guided, I might not want to submit to my husband or respect my husband like I do. I may have trust issues or feel bad about myself---like I had to compete with other women or the internet or other perverse things that our world sets before men's eyes.

Instead, we do have these beautiful, inspired words to live by, thus ensuring that Christians can have wonderful marriages. I have been so blessed to have someone whose main focus within our relationship is to help me get to heaven, and I am thankful for my sweet husband every single day.

A few weeks ago, I was teaching the teenage girls and we were talking about dating. I asked the girls to think about the boys they were dating/wanted to date and think about the characteristics they possessed. Then I asked them to look at the text from Ephesians and think about these questions: Does my boyfriend treat me as well as he treats himself? Does he try to present me as pure and holy, without spot or wrinkle? Would he be a good head to my body? Does he respect my body? Does he nourish and cherish me?

I could tell that some of the answers to those questions were no, and it made me sad. It also made me reminiscent. I dated a few boys who didn't treat me that way. I wasn't cherished, respected, or guarded. When I met Robert, I knew that he was different--and the difference that was inside of him was Christ.

My life wouldn't be filled with nearly as much joy if I weren't married to Robert. And, had God not set up boundaries and given us instruction on how to treat our spouses, I doubt we'd be as happy as we are. I am so thankful that God has given me a man whose heart wants to be like Jesus, and that He gave us the institution of marriage (and the aforementioned guidelines) so that we can have someone urge us along on the straight and narrow as we walk this earthly sojourn.

**As a special note, one of my great friends and a preacher that I greatly respect has written a blog post today about marriage, and it is an interesting, thought-provoking, and wonderful read. Take some time to visit it here.

Must-Tell Monday: Anniversary Edition

I just love my husband so much! We had a very low key, perfectly wonderful anniversary. It was absolutely everything I could have possibly wanted and then some! We had so much fun together. Nothing too out of the ordinary--nope, just enjoying each other and celebrating the love that's gotten us this far.

For your viewing pleasure, I've included a few (phone) photos from our weekend. Enjoy!

Thank you, dear stranger, for asking if you could take a pic of us. It is always a nice gesture, though it kind of makes me nervous to hand my phone to a complete stranger. Also, when they make the picture blurry, I can't say "Oh, can you just take one more?" I'm completely incapable of doing that. 

The view from our hotel. Beautiful downtown Nashville in the background. What you can't see is the GiGi's just a block away. 

Enjoying a night up on the patio of the hotel.

Hanging out in front of the biggest bronze doors in the western world--aka hanging out at the Parthenon in Nashville, which just happens to be where we got engaged. 

The now-annual anniversary pic! Where we were a year ago. 

And also, I would like to take this time to let Robert know that I WAS correct, and our top tier should have been significantly smaller than it was because this is how our year-old cake tasted....

It was a good time, though. Best July 8th we've had so far! 

It's Been a Year

One year ago today, my life changed forever. A little after 7pm on July 8, 2011, I made a commitment to God and to Robert, vowing to be faithful to my new husband from that day forward. It was a big deal. It was a huge day. And here I am, a year later, living to tell the tale.

Today, Robert and I celebrate our one year anniversary. In some ways, it doesn't seem possible that we've been married a year, and in others, that fateful Friday evening seems like decades ago. Alas, it has been a year, and a remarkable one at that. I heard a lot of things before I got married: "being married is soooo different", "living with a boy is sooo different", "the first year is the toughest", "you only think you know someone until you get married", etc. etc. While being married a year isn't that much in comparison to some, hitting this benchmark makes me feel like I can offer a very limited number of words that may benefit someone else who may be getting married soon, may have only been married a few weeks/months, or may be nostalgic for the days of young love. Whatever your lot, continue reading. If you disagree, you can always comment below. =)

In the past year I have learned a lot--about myself, Robert, cooking, and life in general. Here are some random observations I have noted, take them or leave them.

1: Drama is ok, as long as it makes you closer to your spouse. Regardless of what goes on around you (and you'll never be able to control it), as long as you cling to your spouse for dear life, you will make it out on the other side better off than you were before. 

2: If you marry your best friend, you aren't in for many surprises. I won't say you aren't in for any surprises, because there are just some things you don't experience until you're married to someone and living with them. But, people nearly scared me to death before I got married saying that Robert would be "so different" and that things would "change so much". Well I'm here to tell you that, nope, that hasn't happened. I knew Robert well enough before we got married that there weren't a lot of weird quirks to find out about "after it's too late"--others words, not mine. We communicated very well and very frequently prior to marriage, and that has helped us out tremendously. 

3: Spend tons of time together. Moving to Pulaski was very different for me, in that I didn't know a lot of people and didn't have any good friends to spend all of my time with. Robert and I have spent the majority of the last year by ourselves. I mean, obviously we do things with others and we worship with others and work with others, but any "free time" is usually just us. We take trips, go on dates here and there, find fun things to do together...and that's helped us a lot this year. I know it won't always be like this, and I wouldn't want it to be. But for the first year of our marriage to be spent focusing on the "cleaving" part--I think it helped us out so much. 

4: Don't sweat the small stuff. I feel like I've heard that one before. Anyway. If you're like me (and I'm sorry if you are), you may not have a ton of domesticated skills prior to marriage. I could only cook about three things: grilled cheese, pancakes, and chicken and rice. When we got back from our honeymoon, I nearly set the kitchen on fire (ok, so it might not have been that dramatic, but I know I ended up in tears in my new husbands arms). You know what, though? It didn't matter one bit. Robert and I have figured out living on our own together. We cook, clean, do the laundry, do the dishes, and take out the trash in our own way that works for us. We didn't have these preconceived ideas of how it should go, we just made it up as we went. Neither of us were "prepared" to be a spouse, but we worked it out together and it's been so much fun! 

5: Get away sometimes. We have a had a few occasions to simply get out of dodge, and it has been wonderful. It doesn't have to be extravagant or well-planned, just time away from the everyday stressors does wonders. 

I know that most of these are superficial or even too vague for you to really grasp, but these are just a few things I've noticed in the last year that I'd like to keep in mind as time progresses. Looking back, I am so thankful that 20 year old Emily had enough foresight to snatch this amazing man, because I cannot imagine being happier than I am right now. Robert is the most incredible person I know, and he is an amazing husband to me. I am so thankful to live with and be married to my best friend; it has been so fun and so rewarding, and I love him with every single piece of my heart. 

How We Treat The Opposite Sex

Romans 12 is said to contain a list of Christian virtues. Starting in verse 9, we are given a list of attributes Christians should possess and ways they should act. While most people use 1 Corinthians 13 to define love and how we should treat our spouses, I like to use Romans 12:9-18. I especially like verses nine though twelve. Here's what those verses say:

"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer;"

There are so many ways to apply these sentiments, but there's one area I want to zoom in on today.

First and foremost let me tell you that I am by no means a perfect wife. After all, I've only been a wife for a little over 8 months. Still, I have seen a problem with wives of my generation and I really think it needs to be addressed. Lately, I am seeing more and more women talking about famous men on their Facebook and Twitter accounts. While most do so in a playful way, I can't help but feel a sting for their husbands. I'm not saying it is wrong to talk about celebrities or prefer certain ones over others; I have my favorites, too. But here's a sobering question: Do you get upset when your husband talks about other women? Why then do we go on and on about other men?

I think it is just as hurtful to our husbands when we talk about certain celebrities and how "hot" or "attractive" or "great" they are. Not because our husbands are insecure or weak or anything of the sort, but because they're human beings. They need to feel wanted and appreciated and loved. How are we making them feel by praising worldly men based on their appearance? Do we give our Godly husbands the same kind of public praise?

If, as a Christian, I am supposed to give preference to others, and be kindly affectionate to others, how much more so am I supposed to give those things to my husband? Should I not prefer him, even in the silliest and most superficial of ways?

Ephesians 5:33 says, "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."

There are many different ways to show respect to our husbands. I think one way that we could do that is by only praising OUR men. Sure, I can like certain celebrities. Do I have to go on and on about how gorgeous or great or amazing they are? Do I have to plaster pictures of them everywhere? Do I need to try to make my husband jealous?? Of course not. I should spend as much if not more time praising my husband and building him up. Out of respect for my husband, I shouldn't go on and on about other men in the same way that I would feel bad and insecure if he went on and on about how attractive other women are. It's not that I don't know other women are way more attractive than I am, but I don't want my husband to think so. In the same way, we shouldn't act like other men are more attractive than our husbands. They are ours, after all.

Robert and I both share a love for Michael Buble's voice. I'd like to think, though, that Robert knows I'd much rather have him singing to me any day. I may like certain celebrities, but my husband knows that I am completely smitten by and attracted to him above all. That's what it's all about.

Wives, try hard this week to compliment and praise your husband publicly, especially when you feel like complimenting or praising some wordly man. And if you're not married--practice this concept. Stop objectifying men. We get so upset when men do it to us, yet we excuse the behavior for our gender.

Titus 2:3-4 says (ASV): "that the aged women likewise be reverent in demeanor, not slanderers nor enslaved to much wine, teachers of that which is good; that they may train the young women to love their husbands, to love their children.."

Apparently, loving our husbands is something we need to be trained to do. It might not always come naturally. Let's work toward training ourselves to love our husbands in the way God intended for us to love them.

All I want out of life is to go to heaven, be a Godly wife and mother, and have my family get to heaven with me. The purpose of this post and all others is to consider myself first so that I can be right with God. It is never intended to attack, condemn, or anything else. I only want to get to heaven, and help others get there.