Broken Homes

So many people that I know are experiencing the hurt that comes along with broken homes. With that in mind, I urge you to read this post. If someone you love is dealing with the heartbreak associated with this growing epidemic, send them this link and encourage them constantly.

With broken homes come broken hearts and broken people. Have you ever felt alone, unwanted, or disregarded? If so, these verses are for you.

"Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ." Gal. 4:7 

"Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the riches of His grace." Eph. 1:4-5 

"I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the LORD Almighty." 2 Cor. 6:18

God wants you. When earthly parents don't, God does. When family turns their back on you, God won't. God made a way available so that we could be a part of His family--that we could be adopted into His family--and that way is Jesus Christ. When we come in contact with Jesus' blood, we become adopted sons and daughters of God. You know the great thing about adoption? It takes planning. It takes desire. It takes motivation. It takes love.

We're all sinners. At some point, we have separated ourselves from our God. But, He loves us anyway, and He is faithful to forgive us when we come back to Him. Why? Because He loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die so that all of the things that separate us could be taken away. And so, when other people disregard you or disappoint you or neglect you, don't get too down. The God and Creator of the universe wants you, because you are special--you are important--and you are loved.

When our earthly families do something to disappoint us it really hurts. Thankfully, this same God who wants us to be a part of His family, has graciously offered us peace (Phil. 4:7) and the comfort of His arms (2 Cor.1:3).

God loves you--yes you--specifically. And that is why He sent Jesus--so that you, specifically, could be a member of His royal family.

Leading Ladies: Leah

Jacob is a very well known Old Testament patriarch. He also has a beautiful love story. In Genesis 29 we read the story of Jacob wanting to marry Rachel, Laban's youngest daughter. Because Jacob loved her, he worked 7 years to be able to marry her. As the familiar story goes, Laban tricks Jacob and instead gives him Leah (the oldest daughter) to marry. Upon this realization, Jacob works another seven years to be able to finally wed Rachel. That's true love, people! Devotion at its finest for sure.

But in reading this familiar story, it's hard not to feel sorry for Leah. I mean really, how often do you think about Leah when you think about Jacob? It's not that often! Instead, we think of Jacob and Rachel, of the love that they shared, and the way he demonstrated that love to her children. So where does Leah come into that picture? Here's why I feel pretty bad for her:

1: Jacob didn't want her. Now this one is mostly Laban's fault, as he shouldn't have fooled Jacob into marrying Leah, but that's beside the point really. While I know that times were different then and that people didn't commonly marry for love, Jacob wanted to. And guess what? He didn't love Leah. So how would you feel knowing that your now husband not only doesn't love you, but loves your sister?? When I was in high school, one of the guys I was dating thought that my sister was the most gorgeous female on the planet. Even though this was just a high school puppy love type of thing, it still devastated me, because she was my sister. Maybe it's just a sister thing, but there is this jealousy/self-esteem weirdness involved and I just flat out feel sorry for Leah having to deal with that.

Not only that, but the Bible makes it seem like Leah wasn't as good as Rachel. When reading their first descriptions, the Bible says, "Now Laban had two daughters, the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah's eyes were delicate, but Rachel was beautiful of form and appearance (Gen.29:16-17)." While I'm not 100% positive what the "delicate" or "soft" eyes comment means, from the "but Rachel was beautiful.." makes it seem like it was not a great quality to have. I imagine that Leah has felt inferior to her beautiful younger sister for her entire life, and now she's going to be subject to those feelings for the rest of her life. Don't you feel sorry for her?

2: Jacob loved Rachel's children more. So I don't have kids yet, but from what I can deduce, having kids is a game changer. Suddenly, you'd rather people hurt you than hurt your kids. You'd rather suffer or have less of something than to have your kids go through that. Now look at Leah: she's been the lesser of the two wives (and probably the lesser of the two sisters all her life!), and now her kids are the 'lesser' ones. Jacob shows favoritism to Rachel's kids in very obvious ways (see coat of many colors). All of the children can tell that their father loves his sons by Rachel more (see entire story of Joseph's life). How do you think this made Leah feel? Like I said, I feel pretty sorry for her.

But, when I read the story of Leah and Jacob and Rachel, if I will only step back, I can feel at ease with Leah's lot in life. If you've read the story of Esther, you see that God is directly involved, though not directly mentioned. I feel that it's the same in Leah's life. God is directly working in this story, but we don't always take the time to find out where. So that's what we'll do now.

1: God provided for and blessed Leah. While it's completely my own speculation, I feel that Leah (as normal women do) may have worried about getting married. Her physical limitations probably made her nervous that she may never be married, and if you didn't get married back then, it was a bad thing. But God took care of Leah. While the circumstances that led up to her marrying Jacob might not have been the best, and even though her situation throughout life might not have been ideal, God took care of her. He provided for her and met her needs.

Even though Jacob loved Rachel more, God opened Leah's womb. For the first time in Leah's life, she had the advantage over Rachel. No doubt this was God continuing to look out for her. He knew that Jacob loved Rachel more, so He gave her children that she could love and be loved by. And it wasn't just the children that she was getting to spend time with; obviously she was getting Jacob's attention and affection during this time. Sure, the situation still isn't ideal, but God was blessing Leah's life.

3: Leah's family endured. This is basically the end-all argument for feeling sorry for Leah. Now we know that once Rachel had Joseph and Benjamin all of the other kids were mostly forgotten, or at the very least neglected. I mean, they were so bitter that they tried to kill Joseph. But, while Jacob had always favored Rachel and then always favored her children, God favored Leah's child. Judah was the tribe that lasted; the tribe that Jesus would come from (Lion of Judah - Rev. 5). So Leah had it a little worse off than Rachel in this life, but her family's legacy would be the lasting one. It would be her lineage that would one day save the world. We can obviously draw from this that Leah trusted in God in her life. Just like God blessed Abraham, He blessed Leah. God takes care of those who trust in Him--even if there earthly life doesn't seem blessed (though there are always blessings from God).

I think we can learn a lot from Leah's situation. God is going to take care of you and me no matter our lot in life. No matter if the situations and circumstances are against us, God is going to be there for us, and He will never forsake us. If we're limited in this physical world--it doesn't matter, because God will provide for us eternally.

The more I think about it, the less I feel bad for Leah. God took care of her, and He promises to take care of those who are faithful to Him...which makes me realize I should probably never feel bad for myself, either.

And one more nugget of thought: don't let bitterness overtake you. It is so easy to become bitter because of what we go through in this sinful world. Choose to look on the bright side, and like we learn from the story of Leah, know that God will provide for you and take care of you. You will no doubt have many physical blessings while you're on earth, but even if you don't have any...God will bless you eternally: "Heaven will surely be worth it all."

How to Live in Peace

Sometimes the simplest passages can be the most profound. Romans 12 has proved to be such a text for me. Whenever I am struggling to getting along with a person or group of people, I look to Romans 12 as a guide to living in peace. Perhaps these observations taken directly from the text can help you today, too.

• Love without hypocrisy (v.9)

• Cling to the good things in people (v.9)

• Be affectionate to everyone (v.10)

• Think of others above yourself (v.10)

• Rejoice in hope (v.12)

• Be patient in trying times (v.12)

• Always, always pray (v.12)

• Give liberally to your brothers and sisters (v.13)

• Show hospitality to everyone you encounter (v.13)

• Shower blessings on those who don't like you--even those who make your life harder (v.14)

• Be genuinely happy for people who are happy, and be sad with those who are sad (v.15)

• Don't be arrogant (v.16)

• Don't treat others badly, regardless of how they treat you (v.17)

• Do as much as you can to get along with everyone (v.18)

Remember, God has extended every kindness and grace to us; the very least we can do is extend kindness and grace to others. And God didn't start showing us love after we'd chosen to follow Him, He sent His Son to die while we were sinners. Even while people are your enemies, extend love and graciousness and friendship. "As much as depends on you", live a life of peace.

Tough Stuff Tuesday: Beating Bitterness

Why aren't more people pricked by the gospel's message? Why aren't there more people filling that front pew when the invitation song is sung? Is it because the church is filled with such righteous, sinless people? Is it because there are none of us who ever mess up in a public way, or perhaps none of us need encouragement from those around us?

I don't think that's it at all.

There are so many in the church today who are living with walls and fortresses around their hearts, and for seemingly good reasons. Because the church is made up imperfect people, those who come and sit on their favorite pew week after week are hurt, jilted, and angry. They are tired of people treating them with disrespect, speaking to them rudely, or spreading rumors about them to others within the congregation.

And so, they start building walls. 'If I don't make myself vulnerable to you, you can't hurt me', some will say. And week after week, year after year, the walls get higher, the bricks more mighty. And instead of keeping other people out of our hearts, we're closing ourselves off from Jesus.

You see, bitterness is a scary thing. It is a highly contagious, fast-spreading poison. It is a creature that oftentimes sneaks its way into your life, buries itself deep within the confines of your heart, and rears its ugly head only after weeks and months of cultivation. Sometimes, before you even realize that it's there, it's woven itself into your heartstrings so tightly that it isn't a quick fix. It isn't something you can get rid of by simply willing it away. It takes time, effort, and an extreme amount of dedication.

So why should we even bother with ridding our hearts of bitterness? Don't we have the right to hold a grudge against someone who has wronged us? Especially if they have wronged us in such a deep, possibly even publicly humiliating way?

Let's look at what the Bible tells us about the sin of bitterness:

"But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there." James 3:14-16

"...lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled." Hebrews 12:15

From just these two places in scripture we see that bitterness is a serious heart disease. It is demonic. It defiles us. It incapsulates every evil thing. These aren't light, easy to swallow words. These words are harsh. These words indicate a very grave subject matter. Simply put, we cannot be people of God and people who hold grudges. We cannot be people of God and people whose hearts are given over to bitterness.

So what is the Bible's remedy for bitterness? If we are not to be people who hold grudges and have bitter hearts, how are we to change? Look at the verses surrounding those mentioned above:

"But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." James 3:17-18 

"Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord." Hebrews 12:14

Without peace, we will not see the Lord. And that peace? We are to pursue it with all people. I love the way James illustrates wisdom--the way we are to behave to be pleasing to God:

• It comes from a place that is pure. Our motives are to be like Christ, not "forgiving them" so we can use them or hurt them when they trust us again. 

• We are gentle and willing to yield. Sometimes you have to concede and give way to others. When they hurt you, they may never apologize for it. You have to be willing to put your pride on a shelf and yield to them, knowing they are the weaker brother. 

• We have to be full of mercy (which, as I've heard it stated, is not giving someone something they do deserve--kind of like the opposite of grace). The world may tell us that certain people or certain types of transgressions are unforgivable. We never have to trust them or love them or speak to them again. Ah, but peace is full of mercy. God's infinite wisdom shows us that. 

• It is also impartial and without hypocrisy. When the Hebrews writer tells us to pursue peace with all people, it means just that. We do not get to pick and choose the people we forgive, or the types of things we forgive. In order to be fully forgiven, we must fully forgive (Mt. 6:14-15) and pursue peace by whatever means we have to.

There is a beautiful way to attain this type of peace, and Paul tells us in Philippians 4:6-7 exactly how that is possible:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

When we are in constant contact with our heavenly Father, His peace will guard our hearts and minds. I don't know about you, but when I am at odds with someone, it tends to make me anxious. When something has gone terribly wrong and tempers have flared, it tends to stress me out and make me physically ill. But through inspiration we know that if we will simply talk to our Father about it, He will in turn grant us peace. When someone wrongs you, talk to God. If it is causing you extreme pain and you are feeling especially tempted to hold a grudge and be bitter, pray even more. The more you pray, the more peace you will be given.

I have struggled for a significant portion of my life with bitterness. There are grudges that I have been clinging to for years on end. And, by worldly standards, I may have had the right to hold these grudges. I was legitimately hurt, humiliated, forsaken, discarded, and misused. But that list? That list is nothing in comparison to the way that people treated the only begotten Son of Almighty God when He was on this earth. How did He respond? With outstretched, nail-pierced arms. Why, then, do we excuse ourselves when our attitudes are different? When our attitudes are prideful? Should we not react as Jesus did, with unconditional and abiding love?

Pursuing peace isn't easy, but it is commanded. Letting go of our personal agendas isn't easy, but it is necessary if we are going to have God's agenda. If we are seeking our own will, we aren't seeking His. May we all strive to be people of peace in this self-seeking, bitter world.