Leading Ladies: Esther

Finally--back to our Leading Ladies series! Sorry for the hiatus! Election season puts me in a tizzy!

I'm going to trust that you are familiar enough with the story of Esther that I don't have to quote it at length. If you aren't, I would encourage you to read the book in its entirety, as it is a beneficial study (and very intriguing).

So, what kinds of things can we learn from Esther:

1: She was pure. Those chosen to 'go before the king' after he dismissed Queen Vashti were virgins. Had Esther not remained pure in her young life, she would have never been under consideration to be the new queen. But, since she'd purposed in her heart to remain pure before God, she had this opportunity. As Christians, we have an opportunity every single day to decide whether or not we will be pure--from the clothes that we wear and the way we present our bodies to the things that we listen to and shows that we watch. There may be opportunities for us to teach others about God's beautiful word, but if our lives aren't pure, we may take ourselves out of the running for helping that person's soul. How sad if we were to take opportunities away from ourselves! Sadly, though, Christians do this.

For example: if we're on our way into the movie theater to watch something that isn't wholesome and we see someone we know (who may be a struggling Christian, a babe in Christ, or a person we've been 'working on' for quite some time) -- are we negating everything we promote/teach based on the way we are acting--based on the way we're living? Our lives must be pure (and subsequently our hearts--Mt. 5:8) so that we can take hold of every opportunity to do good in God's service.

2: She used her position for God's glory. Had Esther not listened to Mordecai, the entirety of the Jewish population might have been wiped out. Mordecai so eloquently states in Esther 4:14, "Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

God's providence is something that I whole-heartedly believe in, yet don't quite understand how it works in my life. Still, I trust that God has a plan. Like Esther, I believe that there are unique opportunities afforded to each of us. Perhaps you are placed in a certain job just so you can influence your co-worker. Maybe you are in a certain town so that you can help an entire population of people. Whatever your lot in life, be willing, as Esther was, to use that position to God's glory.

And note that Esther did not use her position because it was easy. She displayed an amazing amount of courage by going in to the king's chambers without being summoned--this could have gotten her killed! Still, because she was willing to put the greater good ahead of her own lot, she went in anyway--not knowing how the king would respond. Had she not been willing, people would not have been saved. Likewise, if we are not willing to boldly proclaim Jesus in our lives (to our friends, family members, co-workers, cashiers, etc.), people will not be saved.

3: She remembered who she was. This one will be similar to our last point. You see, when Esther became queen, she could have forsaken her Jewish heritage. She was beautiful, rich, and in a powerful position. Quite frankly she could be whoever she wanted to be, have whatever she wanted to have, and do whatever she wanted to do. We know, though, that she didn't. She kept Mordecai close (and listened to his council), and ultimately saved her entire 'family'.

We live in a sinful world and there's no escaping that fact. As Christians, when we go out into the world in our day to day activities, we must remember who we are. It is not ok for us to 'forget' and let a few curse words slip when talking to our co-workers or when a car pulls out in front of us. It is not ok for us to 'forget' when there's a popular movie coming out that doesn't adhere to God's guidelines for things we should think upon (Phil. 4:8). It's not ok for us to 'forget' because the weather is warm or we're taking a trip--and modest clothing just isn't practical. It isn't ok to 'forget' when we're out shopping for Christmas presents and someone cuts us off, takes too long in line, snatches the last of an item, or anything else. First and foremost, we are Christians, and we must always remember that. That is why Paul urged the brethren at Philippi to mediate on pure, lovely, true, right things. The more you meditate on something, the more likely it is to stick.

4: Her inner beauty mattered more. While Esther was beautiful, there was something else about it that made the king love her. The text tells us that not only did the king love and favor her, but so did all of the other people who came into contact with her--even the other young women who had been chosen to live in the king's palace. Now, think about what you know about beauty pageants. Are all of the beautiful contestants best friends and super nice to each other the entire time? Or is the jealousy, envy, and backbiting? Had Esther simply been outwardly beautiful, I'm sure the majority of people around her would have felt the latter--jealous, especially in light of the special treatment she was receiving. And yet, Esther is loved by all. That speaks volumes for her character!! She truly must have been a beautiful woman on the inside for every person to love her.

I believe this point is especially pertinent to parents of teenage girls. I have been extremely disappointed recently in the outfits that I'm seeing on Facebook of 'Christian' teenage girls. While I am friends with some of the girls, mostly I am seeing these immodest clothing choices put on display by their own parents.

As a former teen girl, I know how impressionable they are--especially when it comes to their bodies. Every thing that you praise or put down will stick with them for a long time. Why not, then, put a little less emphasis on their physical beauty and more on their inner beauty? Challenge them to have a pure heart--it will make enforcing a modest dress code easier. Challenge them to remember who they are--it will make the discussions about dances and parties easier. Above all, though, encourage them to beautify their hearts. Esther spent 12 months preparing for the king. Encourage your daughters to spend time preparing for their King.

This isn't an exhaustive list by any means. There are so many things we can learn from Esther. I challenge you to read more about her and find more ways to implement lessons from her life into yours.

Mirror Matters

As promised, here are a few tips for overcoming the daily battle with the mirror (aka the struggle with self-esteem and self-worth).

1: Recognize your body for what it really is. 1 Corinthians 3:16 says, "Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?" Question: when you think of temples, do you think of ugly, nasty, worn down, disgusting ruin, or do you think of beautiful, elaborate, magnificent structures? My guess is that you think of the latter. The beauty of our bodies isn't equated with how much fat we have or what shape it comes in. The beauty of our temple is that God's work is done with it. You can have the most beautiful, model-esque body in the entire universe and still be ugly in the sight of God. Or, you can have a plain-Jane, not shapely at all body that does beautiful things for His Kingdom. True, incorruptible beauty comes from the inside, and when we realize that we will stop being so hard on ourselves when the outer doesn't cooperate.

2: Recognize your body for whose it really is. 1 Corinthians 6:19 says, "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?" Guess what? That body that you're constantly critiquing and picking apart--it's not even yours. Your vessel is just that, a vessel. A tool. An instrument for God's using. A few weeks ago, Robert and I had to go to Home Depot to buy a drill for our new home. Really, Robert had to go and pick out a drill, and I just went with him. After perusing all the aisles, Robert decided on a drill that had great performance reviews, would do what he needed it to, and fit within the budget. He didn't choose the drill that looked the cutest or had the most bells and whistles. There's a reason Home Depot doesn't sell drills with exquisite paintings on the side. It doesn't matter what it looks like so long as it does what it's supposed to do. The same matters for you and for me. God is not concerned with a dress size; He is concerned with us doing His will. And when I start focusing more on what my outward, pointless appearance looks like and am focusing less on doing God's will, I'm not being a useful tool for God. When I get caught up in what my body looks like and how much my body weighs, I need to realize that it isn't my body at all. Instead, I should be looking for ways to use the body that God gave me to do His work.

3: Recognize what's most important. 1 Timothy 4:8a says, "For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things." There is obviously benefit to exercising and maintaining a healthy lifestyle, but we must recognize that outward maintenance is not as important as inward maintenance. When we get caught up in the physical and "merely outward", we aren't keeping our first priority on the Kingdom of God--and we know that only when God is our first priority are all things added to us (Matt. 6:33). Keeping your temple (of God and not to self) healthy is important, but when it becomes the primary focus of our lives and the dominant thought of our minds, we need to shift gears. Let me illustrate: for a couple of months, I was super caught up in this couch to 5K craze that everyone seems to be involved in. Mind you, I was trying to keep those self-destructive thoughts at bay in a seemingly productive way. The only problem was that I was finding time to run and exercise and log my calories, and not time to study and pray and visit like I needed to. Is there anything wrong with running? I say yes, but only because I hate it. Really, there is no problem at all. Is there anything wrong with watching what you eat? Of course not. It's probably something we all need to do more often. But, is there a problem with overemphasizing the outward and the temporal, and neglecting the spiritual? Absolutely. Paul told Timothy that godliness is always profitable. Exercise, ehh. Godliness, yes. When you find yourself down on your looks or weight or physical condition, dive head first into the Word of God. Consume yourself with study and prayer. Strive to attain godliness, not a perfect figure.

Tough Stuff Tuesday: Temple of God or Temple to Self?

Recently, one of my dear friends (and a young woman that I look up to in many things) wrote a blog post on how we as women deal with body image issues. She had posted about this on Facebook, too, and one of her friends published the following comment:

"A tricky balance exists between caring for our bodies as a temple to God and becoming obsessed with perfecting our bodies as a temple to ourselves."

That quote has been resonating within me from the moment that I read first it until now. Slowly, it has been churning inside of me and causing my heart to change. You see, for a long time now (at least 10 years) I've had a problem with body image. My self-confidence has always been low, and directly related to how I felt about my weight. During high school, I was pretty thin. Still, I would diet or exercise a crazy amount or skip meals because I didn't think I was thin enough. My 5'4'' frame never held weight well, and with every five pound fluctuation, I was in mental anguish and distress. I was very, very hard on myself. Sadly, those tendencies didn't stop when I was in high school. If I'm being honest with you, these feelings are still very real in my day to day life. I struggle with being enough. At least, I had been struggling with that a lot until Polishing the Pulpit a couple of weeks ago.

At PTP, my days were consumed with lectures and study sessions geared toward making my relationship with God stronger. I spent hours every day digging deep into God's beautiful Word. At the end of the seven day stint, I was happier and stronger and excited to come home. And then, a day or two after I had been home, I had a realization: I hadn't once thought about how fat I felt or awful I looked in over a week. That had to have been a first in the entire ten years I'd been struggling with this. 
So what was the magic answer? What helped me see the light and know that I can conquer this internal, self-loathing battle? Answer: God's Word.

I spent an entire week studying God's Word and doing nothing else. Now sure, I was working (recording and editing the lessons), but really I was listening and making notes and learning about my awesome Father. I was being challenged to think and act differently. And, in the process of all of that study, I stopped focusing on ME and started focusing on God.

If you're a lady, you've read and heard numerous lessons on the following scriptures:

"Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel-- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." 1 Pet. 3:3-4

I've heard quite a few lessons on those verses, too. I've heard a lot of things about "incorruptible beauty" and "gentle, quiet spirits". I've even heard lessons on not wearing flashy things and trying to make people notice you. But when I read these verses recently, something new stuck out to me. You see, Peter says (in a completely paraphrased way) don't put so much emphasis on the outside. Now, your struggle may be to arrange your hair all fancy or wear things that show off your wealth as the example shows. That's not mine, though. No, my struggle is simply with focusing too much on the "merely outward". I can become completely consumed with that which is merely outward, so much so that I have a bad attitude or I don't want to be around certain people or I don't even feel desirable to my husband. Why? Because I haven't been listening to Peter. All these years of reading this verse and I've completely missed what he's saying. Stop focusing on that which is merely outward. Instead, look at your heart. Your heart is what makes you beautiful and precious in the sight of God. What is merely outward does not amount to a hill of beans in God's sight. Don't you remember what God said to Samuel in 1 Samuel 16:7?

"For the Lord does not see as man sees; for a man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

When we focus on that which is merely outward (how big or small we are or should be or once were), we are looking at ourselves through the eyes of the WORLD and we have to stop. And while we're at it, we have to stop judging other ladies through the eyes of the world. Christians are not supposed to be conformed to/look like the world; we are supposed to act like Christ (cf. Rom 12:1-2, Gal. 2:20). So let's stop judging ourselves and others by the world's standards, and let's start measuring ourselves by God's Word.

Tomorrow I will be giving tips on how to have a better attitude toward the girl in the mirror. Until then, my prayer is that we will all be a little easier on these physical tents we live in--because tents aren't supposed to be so beautiful that we're completely attached to them and never want to go to our homes. Tents are disposable, messy, unreliable, and uncomfortable, and God designed our physical bodies that way for a reason. I, for one, am looking forward to my glorious body (1 Cor.15:42-44), the one I'll get IF I stop focusing (aka wasting my time) on that which is merely outward.

A Tale of Vanity

It was a Thursday afternoon. I had summoned up enough courage to get a hair cut, something that has been a traumatizing event in times past. I had even decided on a new (for me) hair style, and was almost excited to see how it would turn out.

That feeling lasted approximately two minutes, also known as the time it takes to shampoo your hair at the salon. Once the first cut was over, I realized I'd made a mistake.

Post-haircut Emily is not someone I'm proud of, and on that day I definitely wasn't. I called my husband, basically sobbing, going on and on about how short and how ugly and how stupid my hair was. I kept thinking of all these things I had to do (drivers license photo, trip to my alma mater) and how embarrassing it would be to be seen in public with this new hair style that wouldn't even go into a ponytail (!!!).

I spent the entire afternoon in a tizzy. I cried again when I got home and faced my husband, ashamed of how I looked. Since I didn't get home until late, it wasn't long before bedtime, and I crept upstairs for a moment to myself.

As I laid in the bed, it hit me. Emily, I thought, you are being so vain. I was so caught up in the physical appearance of myself that I hadn't focused one ounce of energy on how I looked to God, or if I looked like Him. Immediately, shame came over me again, only this time a very different kind. I was ashamed that I had spent the better part of my day acting like a child, and being completely caught up in the  physical. I spent the next few minutes in prayer to my Father, thanking Him for giving me such a needed lesson. While I still long for ponytail-length hair, I am thankful that it is short, because I needed the lesson in vanity.

My hair had been super long for a really long time. In October, I cut off 11 inches for Pantene Beautiful Lengths. The last haircut, I got about 3 1/2 to 4 more inches cut off. It wasn't until those last 4 came off that I realized I'd been using my hair as a source of vanity for a long time. I was so attached to it. And while there is nothing wrong with having hair, when you choose to place so much emphasis on the length or color or style or whatever else, you place less importance on God. The more I held on to something that was physical--something that would one day return to the dust, the less I focused on spiritual things. It was a much-needed lesson that I hope to never forget.

"Do not let your adornment be merely outward--arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel--rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 3:3-4

It is my prayer that I will spend the rest of my life more concerned with making my inward self beautiful and precious to God, and less concerned with "arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel".